Star Wars Cheese
by Giesbrecht
Summary: From the author that brought you Star Wars Ducks comes... (drumroll please!) Star Wars CHEESE!


Behold the Power of CHEESE!  
  
Disclaimer: Star Wars and all belong to the amazing George Lucas and Lucasfilm, Ltd. All parodying is my fault, and I'm not getting paid. The idea to use cheese was mine, based on my former foray into the realm of Star Wars Ducks.  
  
THE PHANTOM CHEESE:  
  
Do you hear that? That is the sound of a thousand terrible cheeses coming this  
way...  
  
Cheese *will* do fine. ::waves hand::  
  
Credits *will* do fine. ::waves cheese::  
  
I'm not going in there with two Jedi. Send the cheese.  
  
The cheese is good. Its a credit to your race.  
  
But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the cheese.  
  
Don't worry. It hasn't been our day for warm cheese.  
  
Our cheese is spoiling, Senator.  
  
Did you come here to free the cheese?  
  
At last we will reveal ourselves to the cheese. At last we will have our revenge.  
  
At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have our cheese.  
  
The cheese is dangerous, Master. They all sense it. Why can't you?  
  
Qui-Gon, sir? I don't wish to be a cheese.  
  
It's an invasion cheese.  
  
You were right about one thing, Master. The cheese was short.  
  
Weesa give you una cheese.  
  
I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to cheese.  
  
You refer to the prophecy of the cheese who will bring balance to the force?  
  
Gungans have grand cheese. That's why you no liking us meesa thinks.  
  
The council has granted me permission to train you. You will be a cheese.  
  
The cheese has granted me permission to train you. You will be a Jedi.  
  
I was not elected to watch my cheese suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee!  
  
I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this cheese in a committee!  
  
You see your Majesty, now they will elect a new cheese.  
  
All slaves have cheese implanted somewhere in their bodies.  
  
Chancellor Valorum is mired in baseless accusations of Cheesiness.  
  
Enter the cheese, the real ruler of the Senate.  
  
It is now clear to me that the cheese ceases to function.  
  
This is your cheese, Senator, I fear I must return to mine.  
  
A cheese are you?  
  
I shall train the cheese.  
  
But you already have one cheese.  
  
That little cheese is out of his mind.  
  
That little kid is out of his cheese.  
  
Wipe the cheese out, all of it.  
  
Stay where you are, Ani! Stay in that cheese!  
  
He can see cheese before it happens.  
  
Nobody can kill a cheese.  
  
What's this?  
Cheese.  
  
He gives without any thought of cheese.  
  
Don't center on your cheese, Obi-Wan.  
  
He did it! The little cheese did it!  
  
Hmph! Qui-Gon's cheese, you do not need.  
  
This is Sabe, my cheese.  
  
Promise me you will train the cheese...  
  
Once that cheese takes control of the surface, it will take control of you.  
  
I can't believe there is still cheese in the galaxy. With the Republic's anti-cheese policies...  
  
Not even Yoda has a cheese count that high.  
  
Why do I get the feeling we've picked up another pathetic cheese?  
  
Yousa cheese gonna die?  
  
The cheese was supposed to be far away, this is too close!  
  
There're so many! Do all of them have a system of cheese?  
  
A Cheese Lord, here?  
  
He will find your missing cheese.  
  
Tatooine is controlled by the cheese.  
  
You think you're some sort of Jedi, waving your cheese around like that?  
  
And you, young Skywalker, we shall be watching your cheese with great interest.  
  
A NEW CHEESE:  
  
If this is an Ambassador ship, then ..where's.. the cheese?  
  
Governor Tarkin - I thought I recognized your foul cheese when I was brought on board.  
  
The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more cheese will slip through your fingers.  
  
We don't serve that kind here. Your cheese...it'll have to wait outside.  
  
I suggest a new strategy R2. Let the cheese win.  
  
If you strike me down, I will become cheesier than you can imagine.  
  
Jabba doesn't need pilots who dump their cheese at the 1st sight of an Imperial Destroyer..  
  
You must learn the ways of the cheese if you are to come with me to Alderaan.  
  
He claims to be searching for his former cheese, but I've never seen such devotion in a droid before.  
  
Who is more foolish? The cheese or the fool who follows it?  
  
He can't stay here forever, he's got too much cheese in him.  
  
You don't need to see his ID. This isn't the cheese you're looking for.  
  
General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the cheese wars...  
  
I regret that I am unable to present my father's cheese to you in person.  
  
What I'm looking for is a droid that can speak the binary language of moisture cheese.  
  
You overweight glob of cheese!  
  
No! Alderaan is a peaceful planet. We have no cheese!  
  
I used to bullseye cheese in my T-16 back home. That's not much bigger than two metres.  
  
Look, sir, cheese.  
  
The cheese will be with you...always.  
  
I'm Han Solo. Captain of the Millennium Cheese.  
  
10,000? We could almost buy our own cheese for that!  
  
If Solo's cheese is as fast as he's boasting, we should be all right.  
  
That's no cheese. It's a space station.  
  
That's no moon. It's cheese.  
  
You just watch yourself.. I have the cheese penalty in 12 systems..  
  
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good cheese at your side.  
  
Darth Cheese. Only you could be so bold.  
  
Darth Vader. Only you could be so cheesy.  
  
The Imperial Cheese will not sit still for this!  
  
Negative, negative, we have a large cheese here, now, very dangerous.  
  
Into the cheese, flyboy.   
  
No cheese is worth this!  
  
But sir - nobody worries about upsetting cheese.  
That's 'cause cheese don't pull people's arms outta their sockets when it loses.  
  
It's cheese-etically shielded, I already checked!  
  
Something just moved past my cheese!  
  
We ran into some old cheese.  
  
You came in that cheese? You're braver than I thought  
  
Cheese is easily startled, but it'll soon be back, in greater numbers.  
  
Where's the controls that extend the cheese?  
I think I just blasted them...  
  
The last time we met, I was but the learner... NOW, I am just cheesy...  
  
Come here, my little cheese. Don't be afraid.  
  
17,000! Boy, those guys must really be cheesy.  
  
I'd forgotton how much I hate cheese travel.  
  
That's what your cheese told you.  
  
You can waste time with your cheese when your chores are done.  
  
Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this cheese.  
  
Look, Jabba, next time you want to talk to me, come and see me yourself. Don't send one of those cheeses.  
  
Use the cheese, Luke!  
  
He better have those droids out on the south ridge by midday or there'll be cheese to pay.  
  
The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the Master.  
Only a master of cheese, Darth.  
  
But I was going to Toshi Station to pick up some power cheese!  
  
He wouldn't listen. He kept babbling on about his cheese.  
  
What an incredible new cheese you've discovered!  
  
Look at the size of that cheese!  
  
I'm not such a bad cheese myself.  
  
What a hunk of cheese!  
  
Evacuate?!? In our moment of triumph?!? I think you over-estimate their cheese!  
  
Negative, the cheese didn't go in, just impacted on the surface.  
  
Now let's blow this cheese and go home!  
  
  
THE CHEESE STRIKES BACK:  
  
Cheese? I like the sound of that. I think you like me because I'm cheesy...  
  
I don't know where you get your delusions, cheese brain.  
  
You stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy looking cheese herder.  
  
Then it isn't one of those cheeses.  
  
Its not easy having a cheese on your head.  
  
Your a good cheese, Solo, I hate to lose you.  
  
Then I'll see you in cheese!  
  
Stop that! My cheese is dirty.  
  
Take it easy, your Highness, no reason to get cheesy.  
  
This ground sure feels strange. Doesn't feel like cheese.  
  
I just got this cheese put together; I'm not gonna let something tear it apart.  
  
This is no cheese!  
  
Who you calling cheese?  
  
Laugh it up, cheeseball!  
  
Their cheese is too strong for blasters.  
  
I am C-3P0, human/cheese relations...  
  
You're not actually thinking of going IN to a cheese field!  
  
Cheese accepted, Captain Needa.  
  
I want that cheese, not excuses.  
  
He's as stupid as he is cheesy.  
  
Good! Our first cheese of the day!  
  
Cheese! You seek cheese!  
  
How you get so big, eating cheese of this kind?  
  
Your cheese'll freeze before you reach the first marker!  
  
He's quite clever, you know... for cheese.  
  
Two cheeses against a Star Destroyer?  
  
Two fighters against a cheese?  
  
That's it, Artoo; the Cheese System.  
  
Cheese not make one great.  
  
That's it. The cheese is there.  
  
I feel like I could take on the whole cheese myself...  
  
You truly belong here among the cheese.  
  
The negative cheese has been polarized. I think we'll have to replace it.  
  
Would you like to join me for some cheese?  
  
I don't trust cheese.  
Neither do I. He is my cheese.  
  
Having problems with your cheese?  
  
Well your Highness, I guess this is it.  
That's right.  
Well don't get all cheesy on me, your Worship.  
  
I'd just as soon kiss cheese!  
I can arrange that! You could use a good cheese!  
  
Like we're being cheesed!  
  
He's not a system, he's cheese.  
  
You do have your cheese. Not much, but you do have it.  
  
Once you start down the cheese path, forever will it dominate your destiny.  
  
Once you start down the dark path, forver will it dominate your cheese.  
  
Away put your cheese. I mean you no harm!  
  
Cheese! Hear me!  
  
Captian Solo will not be permanently cheesy.  
  
I am altering the cheese. Pray I don't alter it any further.  
  
We shall rule as father and cheese.  
  
Together we can end this destructive cheese.  
  
No... I am your cheese!  
  
Adventure. Cheese. A Jedi craves not these things.  
  
I'm not cheese.  
  
Your cheese... you will not need it.  
  
Don't give in to cheese--that leads to the dark side.  
  
My ally is cheese, and a powerful ally it is.  
  
Then I guess you don't know everything there is to know about cheese.  
  
You know better than to trust a strange cheese!  
  
Its not my cheese!  
  
This cheese is getting worse all the time!  
  
I had no cheese!  
  
The first cheese is away. The first cheese is away.  
  
Imperial Cheese has entered the base! Imperial Cheese has- *chtck*  
  
The son of Skywalker must not become cheese.  
  
I love cheese.  
I know.  
  
  
RETURN OF THE CHEESE  
  
You have cheese I don't understand, and could never have!  
  
Jabba, this is your last cheese!  
  
Threepio, tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden cheese he'll get no such pleasure from us!  
  
The cheese is strong in your family.  
  
The Force is strong in your cheese.  
  
I don't think the Empire had cheese in mind when they designed her!  
  
Look at you: cheese!  
  
He's more cheese now than man.  
  
Leia, do you remember your cheese?  
  
Then my cheese is truly dead.  
  
It is the name of your true cheese.  
  
That cheese no longer has any meaning for me.  
  
I see you have constructed your own cheese.  
  
The cheese hasn't driven it from you fully!  
  
Indeed you are cheesy.  
  
You have a twin cheese!  
  
You have cheese sickness.  
  
I know that cheese.  
  
You're throwing away cheese here, don't be a fool!  
  
My eyes must be getting better; instead of a big dark cheese, I see a big light cheese.  
  
Wonderful! We are now part of the cheese!  
  
In time you shall call me cheese.  
  
Because, he's got *cheese*!  
  
May the cheese be with us.  
  
You, like your cheese, are now... mine!  
  
I told you to wait on the command cheese.  
  
My cheese isn't picking up anything. Are you sure?  
  
Or this'll be the shortest cheese of all time!  
  
General Solo, is your strike cheese assembled?  
  
It is against my programming to impersonate cheese.  
  
I believe they think I am some sort of cheese.  
  
Oh, I'm afraid the cheese will be fully operational when your friends arrive.  
  
Threepio, tell them that if they don't do as you wish, you'll become angry and use your cheese.  
  
You could tell the cheese, is that who you could tell?  
  
We can't repel cheese of that magnitude!  
  
We'll last longer than we will against that cheese!  
  
And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young cheese.  
  
Strike me down with all of your cheese and your journey towards the Cheese Side will be complete!  
  
Your friends on the Sanctuary Cheese will not survive.  
  
An entire legion of my best cheeses await them.  
  
The rebels have been routed and are fleeing into the cheese.  
  
This is the last cheese you'll ever make!  
  
Who are you?  
Cheese who loves you!  
  
Bargain rather than fight? He's no cheese!  
  
Cheese? Boy, I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of cheesiness!  
  
It is useless to resist, my cheese.  
  
Your overconfidence is your weakness!  
Your faith in your cheese is yours.  
  
Not bad for a little cheese ball.  
  
Then we'll do it real cheeselike.  
  
Back cheese, huh?  
  
Its not like that at all. He's my cheese.  
  
I felt his cheese.  
  
The cheese is coming here?  
  
The cheese is not as forgiving as I am.  
  
This cheese will be completed on schedule!  
  
A small force of Rebels have landed on the surface. My cheese is with them.  
  
I believe he's gone off and done something... rather cheesy!  
  
Hurry! The cheese should be here anytime now!  
  
I suppose I could cheese-wire this thing.  
  
If he can feel your cheese, then leave this place!  
  
It's a cheese!  
  
You were right about me, Luke... Tell your cheese you were right...  
  
Han will have that cheese down, we've gotta give him more time!  
  
I can't kill my own cheese!  
  
Then the cheese has already won.  
  
What? But how can they be cheesing us if they don't know... that we're coming?  
  
As a token of my goodwill I present to you a gift - these two cheeses.  
  
I was amazed how strongly the cheese was with him.  
  
That is why your cheese has remained safely anonymous.  
  
I took it upon myself to train him as cheese.  
  
Cheese? Cheese? Where?!  
  
All cheese pull up!  
  
There... is... another... cheese...  
  
Now... Witness the power of this armed and fully operational cheese!  
  
Good! Good! Now, release your cheese!  
  
I am a Jedi, like my Cheese before me.  



End file.
